could not resist. so cute. *joke*

Dear Loved One,

Okay. You all keep asking me why I’ve been different again for the past couple of weeks. I’m staying at home more, I’m distracted when we’re together, et cetera. You thought those days were gone (which... shame on you for thinking that) and now you want to know why I’ve "regressed."

Here’s the thing. The solo tour started. I know you know this, because I’ve told you about it, and more than likely have made you listen to some concert clips. We’ve still got more than a month of concerts to go, so here is another helpful list to get us through the next several weeks.

Since I can’t get you to voluntarily play Clay’s music when we’re together, I will find ways to sneak it in. Those mix CDs that you were so grateful that I made for you? Heh. I can’t wait to listen to them. I may feign ignorance, but it’s no mistake that acoustic Measure of a Man is on there three times, my friend.

I know I talk about Clay a lot, but I really do try to be judicious. I assure you-- I could find a way to work him into every single conversation, but for your sake, I choose not to. The little knowing grin I get on my face when we’re talking? That’s the point where I could bring Clay up (hee) but have decided to let it pass. I think it’s best for everyone if you don’t try to count those grins.

If we have plans, and I suddenly have the opportunity to hang with some of my "Clay friends," I’m going to have to drop you like a hairy spider. Please don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. It’s just that I must take advantage of any chance I have to spend time with my own kind.

Just because my "Clay friends" are Internet friends, doesn’t make the friendship any less real. These are people with whom I share a passion. We have bonded, and I’m not sure how to say this gently, but it’s a bond that you and I will never share. They are important to me. Please respect that.

Please don’t be jealous of my "Clay friends." They are not friends that I have in place of you. They are friends I have in addition to you.

It’s great that you like Clay, and I love that you’re trying to love him. The thing is, you shouldn’t have to try. It’s there or it isn’t. All I ask of you is that you refrain from saying mean or hateful things about him. It’s okay that you don’t love him. I still love you-- even more than I love Clay. Still, just to be safe, don’t ever give me an "It’s either me or Clay" ultimatum.

The "innocent" southern guy who doesn’t sing about sex or dance? He sings When Doves Cry and grinds with a back-up singer in concert. It makes me happy. Do NOT scoff at the idea. Do NOT tell me how much better Prince is. Do NOT roll your eyes when I talk about it. Our relationship is at stake here. Clay’s performance of When Doves Cry is sacred.

Yes, I’m going to 5 concerts. Yes, I’ve received live cellcerts from 4 concerts. Yes, cellcert is a word. Yes, I’ve seen the entire concert now on video at least 20 times. Yes, I’ve watched certain clips upwards of a hundred times. No, I’ll never get tired of it. Move on.

Please don’t ask me to download anything for you. My super Waldo-sized hard-drive is almost full with Clack. Yes, Clack is a word. Waldo-sized means HUGE. You don’t want to know why. The phrase 'Waldo-sized hard-drive' makes me sweat. You REALLY don’t want to know why.

If I’m suddenly looking flushed while gazing dreamily, and absentmindedly licking my lips or biting my fingers, don’t ask. It has to do with DC When Dove’s Cry, and that’s all I’m saying.

This is just a reminder, since you seem to have doubted it last time: It’s not going to go away. Ever. Even if I wanted it to go away (which I don’t, by the way), it wouldn’t. It may ebb and flow, but it will always be here. It’s a part of who I am now. It brings joy to my life. Be happy for me.

Thanks again for hearing me out. With a little bit of understanding and compromise, we can be sure to have a relationship that will last well into the future... or at least until the next solo tour.

Love,
Your Crazy Clay-Addicted Friend

http://s2.invisionfree.com/Clay_Aiken_Singapore/index.php?showtopic=651